Yes, that’s right. Over the past few days I managed to turn 30 and my blog, a product of my “quarter-life crisis,” turned 5. And you know what? I have yet to feel the shift that comes from transitioning from one decade to the next. If anything, the biggest difference is no longer feeling any anxiety about turning a year older.

But although not much has changed this past year, it’s really astonishing to reflect on the past ten. During this time, I met amazing people, made progress in my career, and had plenty of adventures. To top it all off, I even realized my life-long goal of being a dog mom (I’m only half joking about that). I also experienced loss, and dealt with issues like anxiety and depression. Needless to say, I gained a lot of insight from both the good and the bad, and am looking forward to feeling more wiser as I enter this new decade. So, if you’re interested in what will be different, these are the lessons learned in my 20s I hope will help me rock my 30s.

Having a Plan is Good, But Don’t Let it Define You

This one has been hard to swallow as a goal-oriented person. However, I can’t tell you how much time I’ve wasted feeling sorry for myself just because I hadn’t reached the same milestones as my peers. This sense of feeling lost and behind even led me to enter into a deep depression at 25. I was playing the comparison game and felt frustrated about not having things go as I wanted them to.

But, I couldn’t be happier with where I am right now in every aspect of my life. The progress I craved eventually came with time and effort. From that, I realized my journey didn’t have to look like anybody else’s. Plus, life became less daunting and more enjoyable when I found things other than milestones to define me.

So, in the next decade, I plan to spend less time worrying about crossing goals off my list. Instead, I want to keep my eye on the prize but let success come at a time that works for me. I also want to embrace future moments of feeling lost as opportunities to learn and grow.

Be Open to Change

I didn’t quite realize how averse I was to change until moving up to Portland. Three years ago I left California and everything I ever knew behind to attend grad school. While this change was self-selected, that didn’t stop me from spending months mourning the people, places, and memories in LA.

Thankfully, I’ve since snapped out of it and have grown to love this new city and state. In embracing this change, I’ve opened the door to new opportunities, friendships, and favorite places.

On top of becoming comfortable with change, I’ve realized that it’s something you sometimes need to make happen. I spent so much time in my 20s feeling unhappy because I was too afraid of what else was out there. While nobody can guarantee that the next step you take will lead you to greener pastures, it’s still a step forward in the right direction. So, from now on, I intend to be more open to exploring other possibilities whatever they may be.

Taking Care of Yourself is So Important

I think it’s really sad that the term self-care didn’t enter my vocabulary until I desperately needed it. As an overachiever, I had developed bad habits and prided myself on the amount of effort and time I dedicated towards my work. However, I was never good about taking a moment to pause and check in to see how I was doing physically and emotionally. All that took a toll on me and led me into that episode of depression I had previously mentioned.

While remembering to take care of myself is sometimes still a challenge, I’m now aware that it’s something I have to do. Taking time to meditate, take a bubble bath, go to therapy, or whatever it is that you need will help you better deal with those stressful moments.

You Should Care Less About What Others Think

Maybe it’s because I’m the oldest of four kids, but I can’t help but be a people pleaser sometimes. That need to please extends beyond just trying to make other people happy. It has also always made me self conscious of what others think and feel about the way I put myself out there. Although I think having some sort of self-awareness is good, it shouldn’t keep you from being you. I hope that in the next ten years, I can be more fearless in going after what I want, regardless of what others may think.

Make Time for Adventure

There’s not a single trip I’ve regretted taking in the past ten years. Whether it was just driving out of town for the weekend or traveling to a different country, it’s always fun ditching my routine for something new. Those times away have not only served as an opportunity for adventure, but also as a reminder of why I love my home. Nothing beats being back in my own bed and cozy space in my book.

It’s Important to Love Yourself

I have to say practicing this is still a work in progress for me. There are too many times that I’m hard on myself for various reasons. However, criticizing myself has never done anything but lead me toward a downward spiral. As I enter this new phase in life, I hope to be kinder to myself. And rather than being critical of myself, acknowledge my faults when necessary, learn from them and simply move on.

Surround Yourself with Good Company

While I’ve seen friends come and go in previous decades, I formed very strong friendships in my 20s. These people, both family and peers, have lent me an ear and provided me love and support during tough times, cheered me on toward my goals and encouraged me to be a better version of myself. The friendships made in my 20s have taught me so much about being loyal and generous, and I’m looking forward to ten more years of strengthening these bonds.

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“Success Story” Bando Tee – Thrifted Leather Jacket – Beret – Everlane Jeans

**Photos by Ale